Okay, all the Applications, Affidavits, and documents have been signed and served. You and your ex have traded paperwork back and forth. You’ve even managed to settle some of the issues between you. The clock is ticking down to your day in court and you’re ready.

Almost.

The profusion of law shows on television are popular, entertaining, and misleading. Television needs drama, the thrill of surprise witnesses and last-minute discoveries. Family Court does not. The court deals in process and procedure, tools that exist to ensure a fair playing field for both parties—and no surprises.

In the interest of fairness, the court mandates full disclosure.

Can you represent yourself in Family Court?

Short answer: Yes, absolutely.

Should you represent yourself?

Short answer: It depends.

Whether or not you should represent yourself depends on you and your case, and on the people and issues involved.

In the previous post, we talked about settlement, about the court’s expectation that you and your soon-to-be ex resolve most, if not all, of your issues before your case ever gets to Trial. But just how are you supposed to accomplish this impossible task? Offers to Settle.

Going to Court does not mean you will be going to Trial. In fact, a case could be made that Family Court’s whole raison d’être is to help you avoid Trial. In Ontario, less than 1% of Family Law cases go all the way to Trial. You do not want to be part of that 1%.

Fair warning. It’s a wearying slog to the courthouse.  Be prepared for the journey, from first step to last, to take anywhere from several months to two years.  If your situation is complicated, or you and your spouse are adversarial, or sometimes just because of court delays, it may well take much longer.

The marriage is over. You know it. You haven’t talked separation yet, or mentioned the D word, but it’s there, waiting…

It’s too soon to consult a lawyer, isn’t it? Not yet, not at this stage. It doesn’t seem right to call before you and your spouse have even had the conversation. That would be mean, wouldn’t it?

No.

The marriage is over. You want out, your spouse wants out, but neither of you wants your issues to rain all over the kids. The thought of your four-year-old in a court room answering questions from a judge makes you cringe. The idea of some stranger interrogating your ten-year-old, asking him/her to choose between you doesn’t sit well either.

But would that happen? If you go to court will your children have to appear before a judge?

Tears blur your phone screen. Anger punches your fingers at the keyboard as you hit up Google looking for a Family Law lawyer. You want the kids, the house, and the vintage LP collection your spouse has spent a fortune on. You want an attack dog of a lawyer who will fight to get it all for you. That’s what a lawyer does, right? Fight for you?

Yes, and…no.

Want Custody of your children? Well sorry, you can’t have it, because it’s not a thing anymore.

As of March 1, 2021, the definitions Custody and Access have been repealed. In their place, the Divorce Act now uses the terms Decision-Making Responsibility and Parenting Time.

They lied. Your ex’s family helped him/her hide assets from the courts. It wasn’t an innocent mistake, an accidental oversight. It was a deliberate conspiracy to make it look like your ex had less so that you would get less in the divorce settlement. They know it, you know it, and you have the paperwork to prove it, but what can you do about it?

Maybe you and your ex are walking out of your marriage with no hard feelings or bruised egos. Maybe you still get along well and can put old grievances aside.  Maybe talking to your ex doesn’t twist your stomach into knots and send your blood pressure through the roof.

 Maybe, but probably not.

Do you have plans for the next school break? Thinking about taking the kids away for Christmas? 

Before you start trolling the net for cheap tickets to Florida, or book that all inclusive in the Dominican, the one with the massive slide and ziplining, before you do anything—you need your ex to sign a Travel Consent.

You’re worried. No, scratch that. You were worried; now, you’re scared. You tried to talk to your ex, but (s)he isn’t listening. You sent e-mails. You texted, you even sent a few DMs, but nope, no response.

Before Covid-19 devastated the world, access visits weren’t an issue. You’re both good parents. So long as the children were happy, you were okay with whatever plans your ex had for their time together.

But we’re living in a Covid-19 world now, and you need to know that your ex is following Covid-19 safety protocols.

Stay safe. Stay home. Stay two metres away from everyone, except immediate family. Clear, concise. Nothing ambiguous about this directive from the Ontario government…

Uh, not so fast.

What does immediate family mean, exactly? What does family mean when divorced parents have new partners, and children have siblings in a blended family?

Will the Court consider children’s established family routines?